Insecure people do not feel worthy of healthy, balanced and nurturing relationships, and that is why they end up sabotaging them.
Paradoxically, it is this kind of people – insecure individuals – who would need good relationships the most, but they fatally give in to their instinct to ruin everything.
How do they do that? Well, there are different “strategies”, so to speak.
1. Insecure people are very often paranoid and therefore become impossibly jealous. They see a potential rival in every person who approaches their partner, and this in turn creates an obsessive behaviour that ends up undermining the relationship.
2. Since they do not have any self-esteem, or very little, they cannot believe that someone could actually love them, and therefore become very suspicious of their partner’s motive. Why is this nice person with me if I am so not worthy of their affection? What is their real motive?
3. Deep down, some people just don’t want to be in a relationship, but they can’t admit it. They feel the pressure of having to be with a partner of some kind, even when they are totally uninterested. They will do the impossible to find flaws in the other person and find any excuse
for ending the relationship.
4. Some people are just angry and cannot get over the disappointment of past relationships. Since they were never able to forget whatever happened with their previous partner/s and have a constant feeling of revenge, they will fail to appreciate the new relationship, they won’t be
able to see the new relationship for what it really is and their actions will always be filtered by wanting to get back at the previous partner.
5. Some people are afraid of intimacy and love. Although it would seem very obvious to think that, of course, everyone wants a successful bond with someone else, it is often not the case. Opening yourself up to someone else, showing your true nature and exposing your weaknesses
takes more guts than you would think.
Whatever the reason is, when you spot a pattern – whether in yourself or in a loved one – the best thing to do is go for some good Coaching. It is very difficult to eradicate patterns on your own, even if you are able to see them very clearly. A good Coach will guide you, support you and help you go back to your true nature and get rid of all the baggage that is preventing you from experiencing the joy that can only come from genuine and fulfilling relationships.